Harper lost his mail. A pack of six historical documents went through his office shredder.
Harper won't say exactly what was lost, except that it was sent to him directly.
He must be too ashamed of what happened. An assistant had to write a letter to the sender and apologize for the blunder.
The package contained historical documents about hockey, music and politics. Everything Harper lives for.
The explanation of "hockey" makes sense. Harper has been saying for the past 13 years that he is writing a book on the history of Canadian hockey.
Do we have to wait another 13 years for the book? By that time, Canadians will have finally won the Stanley Cup. And the Maple Leafs? They'll still be waiting.
"Music? " Sure. Harper loves popular music. Fans often send him their music, or even old treasures. Was there an old, long-lost Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians song? How about Stephen Harper and his Royal Canadian Conservatives?
And finally "politics. " Harper lives for that. The loss is would be great.
Imagine a letter from Pierre Poutine in Joliette, lost forever to humanity: " Dear Boss: You'll never guess the neat thing I did for us other day. . . . "
Everything ended up at Cascade. The historical documents are now fertilizer for the gardens, feed for cows or insulation to the attic.
The sender was not compensated for his loss. Harper does not throw money around like that. After all, what do you take him for, Bev Oda travelling through Europe?.
Now all documents destined for the Harper shredder will first have to be inspected by a supervisor.